Christmas

Time changes everything. Our lives, our loves, the very values that we hold dear. And, as we get closer to Christmas, and as I’m the sentimental type, I’m reflecting on how the view of Christmas has changed over the years. Of course, it’s natural to say that your look on Christmas has changed when you get to your 30s. There’s so much you’ve learned by then, and so much left to learn, too. Fear not, though, I’m not going to be a Grinch about it, I’m merely writing this essay to catalog my thoughts, I suppose.

                  It goes without saying that, when you’re a child, Christmas is about the presents. It’s basically the best day of the whole year for a lot of kids, because you go to sleep with nothing, and you wake up with a bunch of wrapped presents under the tree. Well, that’s if you’re fortunate enough for that kind of thing. Let’s assume you had an average, happy Christmas and you grew up getting almost everything you ever wanted, except maybe an item or two that were just not going to happen (and hopefully this did not turn you into some kind of super villain). Think back on those days, think about how wonderful and good it felt to be the center of attention, to unwrap those gifts, without a care in the world. Those were the good old days, huh? That’s what it was all about, the joy of getting gifts.

                  Then you get old.

                  Well, I said I wouldn’t be a Grinch, so let me elaborate on that. When you get to be a little older, after adulthood firmly sets in, the way Christmas settles is a bit different. There’s a lot of pressure in adulthood to get not only gifts for everyone you care about, but also to get the right gift. There’s a lot of stress that comes with the holiday, not to mention debt, of course. And, if you’re lucky like me, there’s the seasonal depression that kicks in pretty hard around this time of year. It’s a far cry from when we were kids, isn’t it? We come to see how the sausage is made, as they say.

                  As we grow old, we grow cynical, and many of us come to associate Christmas with crass materialism. But fear not, that’s not what I’m writing about right here! What I’m writing about is to say let’s recalibrate our eyes and look at Christmas anew, shall we?

                  I know it’s been said before, but Christmas is NOT about the presents. That seems simple enough. But as you get older, as I am now, you start to ask yourself, what exactly is Christmas about? Well, that’s an easy question to answer: it’s about love. But it’s a hard one to extrapolate on. Let me put it into a little context.

                  Remember how I said time changes everything? Our views and all? Well, in the summer of 2023, I lost my mother. That shook my perspective on life to the core. Holidays are about family, aren’t they? Well, yes, and I still have much of mine, but there will always be a hole there on the couch and in the family photos where she used to be. And that is why I say it’s all about love. You have to love the people you choose to love. And I don’t mean in a cheesy Hallmark sort of way, I mean in a deep, meaningful way. You have to let them know they are appreciated, that they are understood, that they are needed. This can be done with a gift, sure, or a card, yes, or even a verbal affirmation. The point is the holidays are important because that’s a time we all agree to get together and spend time with one and other.

                  Now, you may ask yourself, why isn’t every day like that? Well, the meaning of everyday should be love, that’s absolutely true in my book. But we have lives that get in the way, and we sometimes lose sight of this simple, yet vital fact. The holidays, as I see them, are a time when we are reminded how important it is to spend time with each other. It’s a cultural touchstone where we put aside a little time and have a little fun. Now, in an ideal world, every day would be like that. But we don’t live in an ideal world, so we have to seize the time that we have by the horns and ride it right into the sunset. Or something equally grand, like that.  

                  Love is such an easy thing to give, but at times it doesn’t feel like it for one reason or another. So, we buy gifts to express our love for others. Unfortunately, we’ve sort of been trained to think the bigger or more expensive the gift, the more you love someone. That’s an idea that kind of has to be unlearned over time. A simple gift can make someone’s day. To know that you were thinking about them, that’s the ticket sometimes. Or even a card. That’s a thoughtful thing by nature. And some people eschew presents all together, and then what do you do? Give them a hug, tell them you love them, and be there for that person.

                  I guess what I’m trying to say is what Doctor Seuss said all those years ago, it’s not about ribbons or bows, you know how it goes. It’s really not. And I know how I sound. I’m being overly sentimental because it’s Christmas time and I want everyone to be loved. If you have a present to open or not, if we’re friends, or we don’t talk anymore. I want the feeling of love to ring out from on high, if you will.

                  I knew this would be an overly sentimental piece, but it’s the holidays, so sue me.

All I’m saying is, put that theory of love over presents into action this year. Really be there with your family, really be there with your friends. Every day should be like that, but in our nature as human beings, it may not be possible. So, take advantage of the times where it is possible. Eat some food, have some laughs, spread some joy.

                  Remember that feeling of when you were a kid, you can carry that with you forever. But try and transform that feeling into something you can spread as an adult. You don’t have to go broke doing it, either. Just look at someone and tell them they matter. That you appreciate them. That they are the meaning of Christmas.

                  So, in summation, even if I don’t have the words to say it in person to you this holiday season, I love you, stick around, and let’s make some good memories together. You and I, in this moment, that is the meaning of the holiday.